mental health – Louise Barker CBT

January 11, 2024January 11, 2024

Resolutions

For many of us, the New Year is the perfect time to start improving our lives by, exercising more, becoming vegetarian, volunteering, or other resolutions. Given the difficult year that has just passed, we may feel even more of an impetus to take control of our lives and really think about what we want for the coming year. This is a good thing.

However, for many of us resolutions either never really get off the ground or tend to tail off rather quickly. Unfortunately, 80 percent of us will fail by February – this can be because we are telling ourselves the things we want to do less of – eat less junk food, watch less TV. This focuses our attention on what we are doing wrong and is quite self-critical and punishing which doesn’t lead us to feel inspired or motivated. Resolutions are also hard to keep at any time of the year if they involve unrealistic or vague goals. To be successful, we need a SMART approach.

Being SMART

The SMART approach refers to goals that are Specific, Measurable, Achievable, Relevant and Time scaled. For example, applying the SMART approach to one of the most popular New Year’s resolutions – exercise more – would look like this:

Specific – It’s not enough to say you will exercise more. You need to be specific: “I will cycle for an hour three times a week.”
Measurable – Now you’ve set a specific goal, you need a way to measure your progress as you move toward a larger goal. For example, “I will measure progress using a cycling app.”
Achievable – Can you achieve this goal? Setting a goal of cycling 60 miles a week from the outset may not realistic or healthy – especially if you haven’t exercised for a while and will result in you giving up or getting frustrated. Aim for an attainable goal that fits in with your other commitments.
Relevant – How is your resolution relevant to your life and goals for the coming months?
Time framed – Give yourself a time frame for your goal. How many miles do you aim to build up to and by when – months? A year?

So your SMART New Year’s exercise resolution would be, “Because I want to improve my physical fitness I will cycle for an hour 3 times a week, aiming to cycle 20 miles per session by the end of the year.

FINALLY

Focus on one thing at a time. Don’t set yourself up for frustration and failure with too many resolutions. Concentrate on your number one priority. The rest will come in time.
Take small steps. Make a step-by-step plan. For example, instead of becoming overwhelmed by the prospect of cycling 60 miles a week focus on three miles at a time. Taking small steps will help you stay focussed and on track – and feel a sense of accomplishment.
Reward yourself for small success. Don’t wait until your goal is reached to give yourself a pat on the back. If your New Year’s resolution is to cycle 60 miles a week by the end of the year, reward yourself when you reach three, five, 10, 15 and 20 miles.
Be kind to yourself. You’re only human and things will happen that will temporarily derail you. Learn from the situation, shrug it off and focus on tomorrow.
Create a support system. It’s easier to exercise on a regular basis if you have someone waiting there for you or when the whole family is trying to improve their health.

December 1, 2023December 1, 2023

12 ways to look after your mental health at Christmas

For many people the Christmas season can be a time of joy and a great opportunity to spend time with loved ones. For others, it can also be a stressful or lonely period. There is the expectation to be happy and carefree, to juggle responsibilities, and cope with feelings of depression and anxiety

There can be pressure to socialise with friends and family, temptation to overindulge in food and alcohol and then there is the financial strain that gifts and celebrations can put on our bank balance.

Here are some ideas to help you navigate what can sometimes be a festive season:

Plan your time: Schedule exactly what you want to do including Christmas Day. Include some activity, such as exercise, going for a walk or spending some time outside. Balance your social commitments with self-care.
Self-care: Take a break – having time out helps to prevent stress and maintain energy levels throughout the day. Self-compassion is also good for your mental health.
Make a Christmas playlist: Studies show that music releases dopamine (the feel-good chemicals) in our brain.
Avoid making comparisons: It’s easy to make unhealthy comparisons with what others are buying or doing. Limit your exposure to social media and TV advertising.
Let go of unrealistic expectations: We all have our own version of what Christmas should be – this can mean living up to certain expectations that can be too much to take on.
Don’t be afraid to ask for help: If you’re feeling overwhelmed, ask a friend or loved one to help with some of your responsibilities – this is a sign of strength.
Connect with others: Spend time with family and friends – close and positive relationships help us to feel like we have a sense of belonging.
Help your local community: Get involved by volunteering or donating gifts or food – this can provide a sense of purpose and connection with others.
Remember we are all very different: Thinking of Christmas can elicit feelings of happiness or joy, but for some it may evoke feelings of loss or overwhelm. Do what you can to extend understanding and empathy to those who are struggling – we are all humans in need of connection.
Moderate alcohol use: While alcohol can initially make us feel more relaxed, remember it’s a depressant and too much can make us feel irritable and low.
Try to eat healthily: Over-indulging over Christmas is normal but try to keep your diet balanced (fruit and veg) so you can avoid energy lows that can reduce your mood.
Sleep: Over the holiday period we often stay up later than usual and alcohol reduces the quality of our sleep. Try to limit the number of late nights and keep to your sleep routine as much as possible.

Need more support? Samaritans 116 123 (24 hours a day, free and calls to this number do not show up on phone bills)

December 21, 2022December 1, 2023

12 ways to look after your mental health at Christmas

Here are some ideas to help you navigate what can sometimes be a festive season:

Plan your time: Schedule exactly what you want to do including Christmas Day. Include some activity, such as exercise, going for a walk or spending some time outside. Balance your social commitments with self-care.
Self-care: Take a break – having time out helps to prevent stress and maintain energy levels throughout the day. Self-compassion is also good for your mental health.
Make a Christmas playlist: Studies show that music releases dopamine (the feel-good chemicals) in our brain.
Avoid making comparisons: It’s easy to make unhealthy comparisons with what others are buying or doing. Limit your exposure to social media and TV advertising.
Let go of unrealistic expectations: We all have our own version of what Christmas should be – this can mean living up to certain expectations that can be too much to take on.
Don’t be afraid to ask for help: If you’re feeling overwhelmed, ask a friend or loved one to help with some of your responsibilities – this is a sign of strength.
Connect with others: Spend time with family and friends – close and positive relationships help us to feel like we have a sense of belonging.
Help your local community: Get involved by volunteering or donating gifts or food – this can provide a sense of purpose and connection with others.
Remember we are all very different: Thinking of Christmas can elicit feelings of happiness or joy, but for some it may evoke feelings of loss or overwhelm. Do what you can to extend understanding and empathy to those who are struggling – we are all humans in need of connection.
Moderate alcohol use: While alcohol can initially make us feel more relaxed, remember it’s a depressant and too much can make us feel irritable and low.
Try to eat healthily: Over-indulging over Christmas is normal but try to keep your diet balanced (fruit and veg) so you can avoid energy lows that can reduce your mood.
Sleep: Over the holiday period we often stay up later than usual and alcohol reduces the quality of our sleep. Try to limit the number of late nights and keep to your sleep routine as much as possible.

Need more support? Samaritans 116 123 (24 hours a day, free to call

August 10, 2021August 10, 2021

4 Myths about CBT

MYTH 1: The ultimate goal of CBT is to shift negative thoughts to positive ones.

CBT does focus on challenging negative thinking patterns and for this reason many people believe clients are simply invited to think positively about their problems. CBT actually encourages people to take a realistic look at their lives and explore more flexible, helpful ways of thinking. If a client has negative thoughts about a situation, they may well be right. Their job may be very difficult or they may have a challenging health condition. CBT helps people identify, accept and embrace both pleasant and unpleasant thoughts and feelings and try to find alternative, more helpful ways of coping with life’s demands.

MYTH 2: CBT isn’t interested in deeper causes. It’s all “surface stuff.”

A common misconception about CBT is that it isn’t interested in deeper rooted problems. However, while many clients will improve by working solely with how they think about current events, CBT therapists will often work directly with client’s long term negative beliefs (rather than just their present negative automatic thoughts) and part of this inevitably involves childhood historical events in order to understand where these beliefs have come form.

MYTH 3: CBT is a rigid, mechanical approach designed to simply retrain the brain.

While CBT has many tools in it’s tool box, people’s individuality is not ignored. In addition to the mainstream version of CBT originally developed by Ellis &Beck in the 1950′ and 60’s, CBT now includes a range of approaches developed to treat different types of psychological, emotional and behavioural problems. Some of these include:

Acceptance and Commitment Therapy.
Compassion Focused Therapy
Dialectical Behaviour Therapy
Mindfulness Based Cognitive Therapy
Schema Therapy

MYTH 4: CBT is ‘quick in, quick out’.

While some problems may be treated in as few as 6 sessions, CBT is not particularly ‘quick in quick out’. The outcome research for CBT typically assumes 12 to 15 sessions on a weekly of fortnightly basis. This can represent the better part of a years work and is typically longer than many forms of counselling. Therefore, CBT is more accurately described as a medium term psychotherapeutic modality.

In summary CBT teaches clients how to convert personal insight into tangible improvements in dealing with distress, solving problems, improving relationships and changing behaviour. It is orientated to helping people to manage problems and live a more meaningful and fulfilling life.

March 9, 2021March 9, 2021

By Judging Others Are You Really Judging Yourself?

We all have our own set of values and while this is very positive, there’s also a risk we can become over-enthusiastic and expect others to behave a certain way. However, is there a single way to live life or view the world? Could you be limiting your personal growth and enjoyment when you expect others to live according to your rules?

Equally, if you’re hard on others, the chances are you’re also hard on yourself and your self-esteem and happiness suffer.

Life is simply more enjoyable when we accept others and ourselves.

Use these strategies to remove your expectations and be less critical:

Become aware of critical thoughts both towards yourself and about others. We can’t help these thoughts – our minds automatically produce them. However, if we are aware of them, we can evaluate if these thoughts are fair. If they aren’t fair this is your cue to change your thought process. Monitor your thoughts and remind yourself to be more reasonable with yourself and more open-minded with others.
Pause for five seconds and take a deep breath. In most cases you’re safe until you voice the thought. When you find yourself feeling judgemental, stop and take a short pause. You’ll interrupt your thought pattern and give yourself a chance to think before you say something you might regret.
Try and understand that all of us, including yourself, are doing the best we can. That’s not to say that everyone is living up to their potential. But everyone has their own unique past, tragedies, upbringing, health issues, and way of viewing the world. Faced with the same experiences, you can’t be certain you could do any better.
Try and avoid stereotyping. There are CEOs with tattoos and wonderful parents that may work in the sex industry. Do you really believe you can judge someone based on a couple of characteristics or facts?
Carefully consider whether the characteristic you complain about in someone else is something you could be working on yourself. For example, do you find yourself criticising someone who exemplifies confidence and strength as haughty or arrogant? Is this because actually you wish you were more self-assured and assertive? Ask yourself is this something I could work on myself?
The past doesn’t have to equal the future. We all make mistakes. Understand that we can learn from our errors. It’s not fair to judge yourself by your greatest mistake or to judge others by theirs. Do our greatest mistakes really provide an accurate view?
Try and let go of your expectations of others. If you expect others to live by the same rules you will set yourself up for disappointment.
If you have a habit of buying in to your critical thoughts about yourself and others, you’ll get more out of life if you can reverse this tendency. This is a great opportunity to be patient and understanding with yourself. The people that annoy us can often teach us a lot about ourselves.
Finally, make an effort to learn more about someone you don’t like and you might find that your first impression was incorrect.